The Conversation:
How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
by Hill Harper
Gotham Books
Hardcover, $22.50
288 pages, illustrated
ISBN: 978-1-592-40475-9
Book review by Kam Williams
“One of the things I’ve heard a lot from young brothers and sisters
during my recent travels is ‘I want a woman like Michelle’ or ‘Why
can’t I meet a together brother like Barack?’ In truth, they might
be that person every day. These young people are seeing the finished
product, the result of years and years of work and struggle…
I jokingly remind sisters that when Michelle met Barack, the car he
was driving around in had a hole in the floor of the passenger’s
side so big that you could see the street… People tend to look for
status in a mate when they should be looking for potential… and that
means looking beyond the external.”
Excerpted from Chapter 9 (pages 103-104)
 After
winning NAACP Image Awards for his best-selling children’s books
“Letters to a Young Brother” and “Letters to a Young Sister,” Hill
Harper decided to write one for adults. The Conversation: How Black
Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships does dole out
plenty of practical love advice, even though the author’s never been
married and freely admits to a checkered past in terms of dating.
Half how-to tome, half intimate memoir, The Conversation is divided
between the battle-of-the-sexes and Harper’s frustration at his own
failure to find a lifemate. The latter aspect of the text proves
more compelling than trite, ubiquitous maxims like “Let your
feelings show” and “Think outside the box,” since Hill eventually
falls for Nichole, a single-mom from D.C. he first met years ago at
a friend’s wedding.
In this ill-conceived opus, however, he makes the tactical error of
going public with his feelings, announcing to the world that “This
beautiful Black queen is my great blessing here on earth.” And in
his concluding chapter, he waxes romantic about their solid future
together, despite the odds against long-distance liaisons when one
person’s on the East Coast while the other lives out in L.A.
Regrettably, the couple has reportedly already called it quits,
which makes you wonder why Hill’s editors didn’t try to talk him out
of mixing business and pleasure on the pages of his book, especially
given his spotty track record. Sorry, it’s kind of hard to take any
advice from a bachelor-turned-relationship guru who didn’t see this
safe falling from the sky or at least have the common sense to keep
his private life private.
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Lloyd
Kam Williams 