Names and Expectations

Hawai'i Underscores What Names Do Not Tell Us About Each Other

By Frances Kai-Hwa Wang, Asian American Village acting editor

August 2006 - This summer, my daughters came home every day from summer camp full of stories about putting their feet in the water fountain or canoeing down Huron River with their new friends—Hannah, Michelle, Christina, Irena, etc. When I picked up my oldest daughter that Thursday, however, I was surprised to see her wave goodbye to a group of three or four Asian American girls and walk to the car.

Oh! So Hannah, Michelle, Christina, and Irena are all Asian American!

I had not wanted to make any assumptions when I listened to my daughters’ stories about their new friends, but I did just that. I heard the girls’ English first names and assumed that they were Caucasian.

I cannot believe I did that! I hate it when people do it to me.

When I talk to people on the phone, I always say my whole name, Frances Wang (pronounced Wong), because I do not want them to be surprised (or disappointed) when we meet and they discover that my voice does not match (what they might expect from) my face. Unfortunately, this does not work in the Midwest, because Midwesterners are so not used to Asian Americans that they keep hearing my last name as “Long,” even when I spell it out three times, W-A-N-G.

It is easy to rely on names as a shortcut to make assumptions and categorize people—basically put them into boxes—so that we do not have to think about them anymore. I heard Frank Wu say at a public lecture once that he does not mind when people ask about his ethnicity as much as he minds them not asking any more questions afterwards because they think that they now know all there is to know about him.

Confounding Expectations

Sometimes people actually get mad at you for confounding their expectations. I have heard from adult hapas (part Asian or Pacific Islander multiracial people) that some people argue that they are more or less Asian depending on which surname they happen to have. So these people might think that author Stewart David Ikeda is “more Asian” than, say, filmmaker Eric Byler, who has to continually prove his Asianness. Others think that actor Russell Wong “looks more Asian” than actors Dean Cain or Keanu Reeves because he happens to have an Asian surname. I have heard hapa newscasters criticized for using their full names professionally so that their ethnic middle name “shows.”  No, the name does not inform them about their Asianness so much as it informs you.

Add in Asian adoptees and women who change their names because of marriage and things get really confusing.

One of my girlfriends recently got married and changed her last name to Capobianco. No one is going to look at her Korean features and think that she is Italian by descent, so it seems obvious that that is her married name. What is ironic, however, is that she is adopted so her maiden name is Davenport.

Another girlfriend who is Caucasian but whose last name is Yang by marriage was the most successful restaurant reviewer our town had ever seen because all the restaurants were on the lookout for an Asian woman. It makes me smile to think of all the Asian women who must have accidentally gotten special service and extra desserts because the restaurants mistook them for that mysterious restaurant reviewer no one had ever seen, Margaret Yang.

Sobering Lessons from Hawaii

This summer, the kids and I are in Hawaii for our annual “fix.” When I was looking into ukulele and aikido lessons, I tried to pick instructors based on ethnicity. Not that I think Caucasians cannot play ukulele or do aikido, but, well, we see plenty of Caucasians in Michigan and not very many Asian Pacific Americans. I would not care so much if we lived here all the time, but I am trying to balance against that Michigan experience and give the kids a rare chance to have real APA teachers and role models.

However, in Hawaii, names do not tell you anything. Because of generations of intermarriage, people have all different kinds of first names and surnames that do not necessarily match their faces. It took me awhile to get used to the fact that people named Chang and Hill and Takahashi might look mostly Hawaiian…or not.

I tried to check out people’s pictures on the Internet, but even with photos, people’s faces do not necessarily reveal their family backgrounds. Actually, that is one of the things I love—walking around Hilo and seeing family after family where mom, dad, children, grandparents each have different skin color and facial features and yet are obviously all one loving family. No one questions whether or not they belong together.

In Hawaii, the only real way to learn about a person is to actually talk to him or her. Radical!

We finally ended up in a packed Parks and Rec ukulele class with about 40 students of all ages and ethnicities, and a spunky teacher named BJ Soriano or Aunty BJ. Before we went, I wondered about the Italian-sounding surname, but I knew it could be a married name or that she could be multiracial. Since she went by Aunty BJ, I guessed she was probably local, but she could as easily have been someone who wanted to be local. I wondered about her initials, BJ. I was momentarily disappointed when we got there and I saw that she was Caucasian. However, as soon as she opened her mouth, there were no more questions—she was totally local. She mentioned that she was of Portuguese descent but joked that she knew a lot more Hawaiian than Portuguese. She knew tons of Hawaiian songs and taught the kids to have a love for Hawaiian language and music. I shut my eyes and listened to her sing Nani Wale.

I wish it could always be like that. How much better it would be if everyone knew that we could not get away with using names, faces, immigration histories, or accents as shortcuts, and instead had to actually get to know people. Instead of just bristling when others make assumptions about us, let us all challenge ourselves to go learn one new surprising thing that we thought we already knew about each of the people around us.

Links and Readings of Interest

• Race, Sex and the 'Charlotte Sometimes' Controversy
  Special to Asian-American Village by Eric Byler
  The director addresses APA/hapa schism and boycott threat

• What’s in a(n Asian) Name?
  By Lynda Lin, Pacific Citizen Assistant Editor
  First generation immigrants changed their ethnic names to gain access, but experts say the continuing trend in younger generations is indicative of fractured identities.

• Careers: Does Your "Name" Keep You From Getting Hired?
  By Jennifer Hicks, IMDiversity Career Center

• Comics: Secret Asian Man on: Secret Asian Names
  By Tak Toyoshima, AAV Artist in Residence